Simultaneous Emotions

So all last week, I was super excited to witness the whole Saturn-Jupiter conjunction thing happening on the winter solstice.

I mean, a winter solstice “Christmas star” after the 2020 we’ve had?

I was all in.

What I didn’t consider (which seems, in retrospect, to have been a ridiculous oversight) is that I live in Seattle.

Which…ummmm…is sort of famous for its rain.

So, you guessed it.

Pouring rain all day and completely socked-in skies, nary a planetary event in sight.

I was admittedly bummed out.

And thennnnnn…the rain turned to snow.

Please note again: Seattle.

Known for rain, not snow.

I love snow. I miss snow. I crave snow.

So in the midst of being bummed out over missing the conjunction, I was also thrilled at the fat flakes coating the trees and making the world magical.

Look, this is a pretty superficial example of my point today, but it’s the second-to-last week of the year, and I’m feeling lazy, so I went for the low-hanging fruit.

But the point remains: our feelings aren’t mutually exclusive, i.e. we can feel more than one thing at a time.

I recently finished Marc Brackett’s fantastic book Permission to Feel and he gave the research to back up what I’ve been saying for years: we’re capable of complicated emotions.

His research found this phenomenal truth:

Most people are feeling 3 to 5 emotions at any given moment and it’s likely that at least 2 of them are contradictory.

Whaaaaaat?!?!

Read that sentence again.

That’s not nothing,.

As a matter of fact, it’s huge.

And here’s what it boils down today:

You are likely feeling ALL the feels right now.

This year has been a lot.

You have likely had some really, really hard moments. You may be having one right now.

You have also likely had some really, really beautiful moments. You may be having one right now.

You may be having both right now.

And that’s okay.

You’re not alone.

This is what it is to be human.

It’s messy. It’s brutal.

It’s connective. It’s inspiring.

It’s miraculous and stunning and will sometimes bring you to your knees.

As 2020 draws to a close, we are all doing a lot of processing.

2021 lies before us with more uncertainty, more possibility, more…everything.

And we’ll continue to feel.

We’ll continue to experience the awesome spectrum of human emotion.

Sometimes all at once. Sometimes in ways that don’t make sense to us.

So let me say it again:

You’re not alone.

Take care of yourself and each other out there.

Be kind.

We never know what the person next to us in the grocery store line is going through, what they’re carrying.