Do You Really Need That Disclaimer?

A couple of weeks ago I met up with a couple of friends to go for hike.

We met at the trailhead and started the uphill climb to the top of the small mountain and I felt compelled to voice my disclaimer: “I’m super out of shape, you guys, so sorry for the huffing and puffing that will be going on behind you!”

They smiled and nodded and we proceeded.

We reached a particularly steep section where we were all huffing and puffing, but the compulsion washed over me again: “Agh! I haven’t been running enough!”

Again they smiled and nodded and we proceeded.

I thought of that last week during a writing workshop I was in.

We are all new to fiction writing and sharing bits of our first drafts in this workshop.

Every single person that shared that day qualified their chapter with some variation of, “This is really rough, I haven’t edited yet, it’s a first draft.”

And guess what?

Yup. We all smiled and nodded and then proceeded.

Here’s the thing: no one needs to hear our disclaimers.

(a) They aren’t particularly unique or interesting.

(b) They take time away from the good stuff.

(c) They steal from our genuine effort and energy.

So what if you’re out of shape out on the trail— good for you for getting out there now.

Enjoy the shit out of it and don’t worry about the huffing and puffing…everyone’s been there.

Take in the crisp air, the trees, the chance to talk with friends, to watch the dogs run, to hear the birds chatter, to pull some well-earned oxygen into your lungs.

The disclaimer doesn’t add anything to the experience.

So what if your draft is full of typos and awkward sentences?

That’s why it’s called a first draft.

Be proud of the work. Of the hours spent getting the draft down in the first place. Of the creativity and thought and engagement that went into the process.

Own what you’ve created. Own that you are using your voice.

Don’t diminish what you are offering with qualifiers and disclaimers.

I’ve written before about the power of permission granting behavior.

Give yourself and those around you permission to be as you are without qualifying it.

Embrace your process, even when it’s messy.

Show up as you are right now and know that that’s enough, you’re enough.

It’s the showing up that matters. Keep doing it.

We are all in process.

We are all trying to figure out what’s next in some area of our lives.

We are all busy or tired or out of shape or on a first draft of some sort.

That’s okay. No need to qualify what you ARE doing with what you aren’t.

Be excited about things without preamble. (This is one of my sticking spots…I love to begin with, “So I know this is super dorky, but…” But what does that do?)

Enjoy yourself without justification.

Share work you’re proud of without canned humility.

Let’s work on this together.

Tell someone today about something you’re proud of or excited about and practice not qualifying it, practice saying it without a disclaimer of any sort.

Here’s mine:

I crossed the 125K word mark on my novel last week and am heading into the homestretch. I’ve worked on it most days since January and I am proud as punch for sticking with it even when I was overwhelmed or unsure of my ability to do the story justice.

Whew— see, not a disclaimer in sight.

It feels weird. I’ll keep practicing.

We’ll do it together!