Digging Out
We had another fantastic Say The Word® retreat on Saturday and, as always, the discussion was freaking awesome.
I’ve been thinking all weekend about something that was said by one of the incredible participants and I just have to share it here.
We’d been talking about using language to “zone in” and “tune in” and “dig in” to our feelings and emotional states and the experiences in our lives.
As the discussion continued, the conversation shifted into the concept of resiliency and adaptation to change.
Meghan pointed out that while we often flip the terms and reference “tuning out” or “zoning out” with an equal frequency with their “in” counterparts, it’s far more rare that we address the need to “dig out.”
So I’ve been whirling and twirling this in my brain and getting curious about it.
You could say that I’ve been “digging in” to what it means to “dig out."
The thing that struck me most strongly is the sense that in order to “dig out” of something, there is an implicit understanding that we must be “buried” in some way, right?
I mean, honestly, the first place I thought about using the phrase “dig out” was in reference to my email inbox.
How quickly it goes from being a manageable place to one that will take me a full work day to “dig out” of.
But where else have we felt “buried” in our lives?
How about under expectations? Obligations?
What about heartbreak or grief?
A sense of inertia in our lives?
I hear the word “overwhelmed” more times than I can count each week from coaching clients…isn’t that just another way to say “buried”?
Isn’t “overwhelm” something we frequently have to “dig out” of?
So where do we start?
Well…I think you know what I’m going to say here…
Yup. By getting curious.
The phrase that jumped to mind initially was the old, “The only way past is through.”
To dig out, we often have to dig IN, right?
When we're buried under obligations and expectations, we often must begin by asking ourselves some tough questions about what is mostimportant to us.
We have to dive into the messy pile of relationships, old patterns, guilt, shame, habits, and all the things that landed us there.
We have to take a look at each of those obligations or expectations and make choices about them, about where they fit into our priorities, our values, our lives.
To dig out of pain or grief, we must dig in to all of the feelings that are there.
Look each one fully in the face. Stay with it. Acknowledge it.
There’s no rushing through, no skipping ahead to healing.
Sometimes it’s unbelievably complicated and circular.
Sometimes it’s unbelievably simply and straightforward.
Sometimes it's both.
But digging out means shovelful after shovelful of feeling and being.
Geez, even digging out of my inbox means digging in to one email at a time.
Spending the time to read, consider, and answer.
One. Then another.
Shovel. Shovel. Shovel.
What are YOU digging out of right now?
What is it asking you to dig IN to?
How can you embrace your curiosity to do this work?
What might that look like for you right now? Today? In this moment?
That’s not rhetorical…hit reply and tell me.
I’m here and I want to know. You might be surprised how even the simple act of typing it out to me in reply might, in itself, be the first shovelful out.
Give it a try.
Stay curious out there, my friend.