Posts in Coaching
Creep

It creeps in sometimes.

The urge to revert back to old truths, old behaviors, old patterns that I know don’t work.

To buy into the “I’m so busy” mentality, running around like a chicken without a head and a sense of martyrdom wrapped around me like a a comforting straightjacket, justifying all the reasons I’m not doing what I said I’d do, why I’m not enjoying my days, my work, my life.

The urge to back away from the life I really want because it’s hard, because I’m scared, because I’m afraid I’m not enough or that I’ll learn something about myself that will unravel all the threads that hold me together…

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The Slow Grow

I can be impatient.


Like, seriously impatient.

Once I decide I want to learn something or accomplish something or build something or renovate something (are you getting the idea yet?), I impatiently want to dive in headfirst and DO IT ALL RIGHT NOW!!!

Which looks like motivation for about five minutes and then quickly turns to overwhelm (cue the “ohmygod there is soooooooooooo much to do here” voice of panic)….

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Multi-Passionate: Gift or Excuse?

We were sitting on the bus driving back to school after a swim meet, talking about our futures in the way only 16-year-olds can and I commented that I wanted to be a teacher. Or maybe write novels. Or work in a museum. Or maybe be an archeologist. 

My friend, Steve, just looked at me long and hard in the special way that particularly driven young men seem to excel at and finally said, “You do know that you are going to have to pick ONE, right? You can’t do everything, Cindy.”

“Sure, I guess,” I hedged uncomfortably…

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A Couch and A Fork

I was eighteen years old and sleeping on the couch of the dingy apartment I shared with Naomi, John, and Brad. 

I didn’t have a bedroom of my own, so my nights were often disrupted by the comings and going of my roommates. Naomi’s late hours arriving home from her job at The Wild Zebra “Gentlemen’s Club” that our apartment shared a parking lot with. John’s drunken rages at Naomi, fueled by convenience store malt liquor, jealousy, and impotence. Good nights meant broken dishes and bad ones meant broken bones and another trip to a new emergency room with a sobbing Naomi defending his latest outburst. Brad was a quieter presence, eyes sleepy from whatever he’d smoked and occasionally even interested in a book I was reading. He’s a background player in my memories of that time, shadowy and indistinct…

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The Next Best Step

I think I’ve mentioned that part of why Justin and I are in Seattle for the year is to help my Dad do some big renovations on his home here. After doing some quick cosmetic updates on the bedrooms, our first big project is a bathroom gut job. And I mean gut job- we spent nearly 10 hours bashing out drywall and tile and took this baby right down to the studs. It was a blast…

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How To Be Like A Stalagmite

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks painting walls and ceilings and trim as we’ve begun the renovations at my Dad’s house and have been carving out a bit of quiet space to sleep and work amidst the piles of tools and materials and soon-to-be-torn-down walls…. 

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